Archive | December 2012

“This is the se…

“This is the semester I go from being a stoner who studies, to a student who smokes.” – Anonymous(aka me)

Big difference.  Long time coming.  Pulling my ish together.  Time to dream big-ger.

In Security

I open the door to the front of the house,
The beeping is loud as the timer counts down,
I see you,
And stare,
But not for too long,
I’m here for one thing,
Anything else would be wrong.
———————————————————

“Hello madam X my name is (whatever),
I’m here answering your call,
From the company (whichever),
I understand you have some issues,
Some things that must be made better,
Please show me the way,
To the problem,
(Wherever).”

I’m led down the hall,
Towards a system,
The beeping gets louder,
A siren in my prison,
The patch on my back,
Gives me resolve to continue,
I’ve hated my job,
More and more with each change of venue.

I look at the product,
Ignore the sounds drowned in my ears,
Focus all of my effort,
On fixing the reason I’m here,
Within minutes I’m finished,
Turn around and you are in tears,
“Why?”
I ask softly,
You reach out,
Pull me near.

“Miss this is quite unprofessional,”
I said though my longing,
“The company I belong to,
They will not find this fun…”

You connect with my lips and I rip off my patch,
The symbol I’ve kept,
Only to find my way back
The beeping is gone,
And I’m done with this job,
Show me a room,
Where we can be all,
But alone.

By the hand I am led to the grandest of bedrooms,
So lost in your scent,
I can’t but imagine how many,
Others were sent here on just an address and memory,
I think they are fools,
And I am one,
One of many,
But what else is a moment,
If not a chance at a memory?

Your hands on my chest,
Lightest touch of a feather,
I feel the signal to slow,
That you want to do this together,
I oblige and roll over,
Side by side we’ll remember,
How it feels to be one,
Not just get fucked,
Or whatever.

Just as we connect on a level unknown,
To most other “lovers,”
I hear the ring of a phone,
In an instant you’ve lost me,
It’s cheesy but I have a ‘zone’,
Of comfort and passion,
But we must be alone.

After the briefest of conversations,
You say,
“Believe me I’m sorry,
But I’ve received an invitation,
To the grandest of parties,
If you’d like you can come!
If not,
You must wait,
For my longing,
Because for now it’s tied up,
In the darkness of wanting.”
———————————————————-
She said,
“My hero!
You fixed it!
Oh how it was driving me crazy,
Constantly in my head,
Complicating my daily,
Routine.”

“Of course ma’am,”
I say, woken up from my daydream,
Look around in mild surprise,
Feeling my subconscious believe me,
That all this was rooted in fiction,
My soul is still not freed,
Maybe the next house
Will hold a memory I need.

You sign near the ‘x’,
And I grasp your fingers goodbye,
It’s probably just me,
I swear there was a twinkle in your eye,
“This may be the first time we’ve met,”
You say with a smile,
“But this security system fails,
Much more than just once in a while.”

To Believe

I breathe for you,
The truth in that is vast my dear,
Vaster than the oceans,
That keep you from my fear,
Inhale and I can see you there,
Hallucinations,
Imagining we share,
A house,
A home,
A child,
NO!

Infatuation,
Not lust,
Not even love,
That I can tell,
It’s not romantic, no,
But reality,
It sets in like concrete,
Slow,
You don’t really know me,
And that’s okay,
But let us save the promises,
For another day.

Don’t get discouraged,
Because your courage,
Is kind of the only reason,
I believe.

That is the reason,
Goddamn,
ONLY reason,
I believe,
In you and me.

My soul is shielded and I’m retarded,
If I’m to assume you’re not the same,
By name,
The struggles,
I do not know them,
Invisible enemies,
A terrorist’s game,
Cracks in the concrete,
Covered by dirt,
Grass and time,
But it will still hurt,
To trip up.

If I’m not being clear,
Then here-

I love the fact that you love the fact that we love the fact that there’s no stress,
You believe what I believe that all or nothing is the best,
The only way to find the truth behind a heart is through a test,
Unless you trust with everything you have.

Like I did,
Like I’m doing,
You’ll understand why I’m so scared,
To believe.

This is amazing

“Life is either…

“Life is either the pursuit of happiness or the evasion of sorrow.” – Anonymous(aka me)

This line kind of popped into my head last night, as I was busy Snapchatting the girl i’m dating ( I realllllly like her) who happens to be in England.  Somewhere in between the random lines of poetry I was writing, and the poetry I was reading (Book of Longing by Leonard Cohen, which thus far I highly recommend to anyone who feels like they are going through the world alone, no matter who is next to you), I realized the astounding truth my own subconscious had shoved to the front of my mind.

Maybe it is just me, but I can categorize most every aspect of my life into either evading sorrow or or chasing  something I thought would make me happy.

This being said, I believe there is a second part to this quote, that my brain hasn’t exposed to me yet.  I guess it will come later. After pursuing and evading for so long, something has to happen.

 

ramble ramble ramble

Be Mine!

Be mine!
Please,
I wish to scream it to the world,
That after all this
Time,
I’ve unearthed the most beautiful girl,
That I could ever
Find,
I get thoughts of your heart,
And the swirls,
The mixing of lives,
The sensations of you,
My fist uncurls.