I don’t feel well, reacting this way. It feels cheap, like I’m giving a favorite niece or nephew a present, hastily bought, pre-wrapped, from the nearest 7-11 before racing to a holiday dinner.
The sincerity of the gesture isn’t lost on the person, by any means. In a moment where everything and anything could be, logically, this gift is massively better than not receiving any gift at all.
So it is given, unwrapped, and the gift is enjoyed, leaving the person none-the-wiser, concerning the arguably ‘better’ gift; which you did not purchase for reasons of your own- be them economic, geographic, or emotional.
Is this wrong? Giving the cheaper option only to find that it elicits the same joy? Or is it your responsibility as the gift-giver to give as much as you initially sought to? As much as you can? If the holiday has already passed, the person is enjoying themselves, but you know they could be having more fun if you hadn’t of been cheap, do you drown out the guilt? Or do you praise it for teaching you a lesson? How do you learn a lesson you’re clearly trying to teach yourself? Is this too mundane of an issue to take up your mental faculties for such an extended period of time? Do you ponder these questions every night as I do when I enter my subconscious, and every morning when I leave it?
My personal belief is yes. The act itself is passable as polite, but comparatively, it is downright rude. If you know someone will enjoy a certain gift, and you actively avoid that choice in favor of something that the person might enjoy, you’re not giving gifts the way I was raised to. Maybe that’s for the better, but every fiber of my being screams bloody murder when I don’t put my heart, and all of my heart, into what I commonly mistake as a ‘special moment.’